I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize