i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
My vagina is officially offended.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
