i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
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