Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
