Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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