my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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