I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
