Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
