But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
