He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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