this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
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