Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I pour the whiskey from now on
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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