this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
