You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
