are you still at the devil's house?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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