Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
