Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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