did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
