My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
