cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
