You're so nebulous sometimes
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
