Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
