i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize