That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
