then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize