I heard we made out
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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