Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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