Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
My vagina is very pro this idea
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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