the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
