where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Randomize
