Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
