Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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