Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Actions speak louder than pants.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
