he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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