My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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