So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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