even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
there was a trapeze. enough said
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
