I looked at my own cervix.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
There was a lot of him and a little penis
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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