i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Im part way to drunk.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
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