I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
