At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
