yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
