I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
