Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(210): View more from Texas

It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.

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(660): View more from Missouri

THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.

(816): View more from Missouri

..So we should take it off Youtube?

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(646): View more from New York

its my first week of college and i have a UTI

(718): View more from New York

not easy being a whore now is it

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(206): View more from Washington

This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate

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(410): View more from Maryland

I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk

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(614): View more from Ohio

We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass

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(479): View more from Arkansas

We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over

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