is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa