she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
