Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
