You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
