Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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