Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
