Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
