so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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