my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I will be naked everywhere
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
