so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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