just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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