I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
