I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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