You work out of a Hotel?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
