I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
the gays at disneyland are vicious
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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