In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
